Opinion | Father, the Silent Hero

Celebrating World Father’s Day by honouring the strength, sacrifice, and silent love of father’s around the world.

By recognizing our fathers, we recognize the silent architecture of our lives—the pillars who hold up the sky with bare hands and hopeful hearts.

It usually does not start with some dramatic fanfare–no great proclaimations, no immediate clapping. Compared to motherhood, fatherhood is barely an object of romance in poems or even applause in everyday talks. But there is a common denominator in the background of any properly raised child and any stable family and that is the silent bearer of responsibility, sacrifice and love, the father.

 

Although Father Day might not have been born in India where the culture of parental respect is enshrined in religion and culture, the essence of the day has never been lacking. The concept of honoring fathers on the third Sunday of June, as many other things, originated in the West. It dripped into Indian minds in the 90s when the television emerged and the social media explosion followed. Father Day has since then established its niche particularly in the urban and semi-urban India where children celebrate the day with homemade cards, some well-chosen gift or a touching message, possibly during a joint meal or a telephone conversation.

 

Yet this is not a borrowed celebration. It gives us the opportunity to make a pause and think not only about the honouring the father but about the way the very concept of fatherhood is changing.

 

Conventionally, Indian fathers were regarded as bread-winners, disciplinary figures and decision-makers. Their love, however, was there, but frequently termed as formality. A lot of them grew up with the knowledge that the father loved them a lot yet they never heard it. The warm feeling was disguised with the rigid rules, punctuality and sacrifices too great to be mentioned.

 

But this is changing. And fast.

 

Fatherhood in the modern India is no more limited to the narrow alleys of provision and protection. The winds of urbanisation, nuclear families and the emergence of working mothers are reshaping it. Father is coming into classrooms on PTA business, splitting kitchen chores, comforting middle-of-the-night tears and even taking paternity leaves–where companies are permitting it. The once unimaginable sight of a father packing lunchboxes or attending school meetings is now becoming the new normal in many households.

 

This is a quiet revolution—one not marked by protests or policy shifts but by a shift in mindset.

 

The change is profoundly embedded in the increasing knowledge on child psychology and emotional quotient. Fatherhood nowadays is asking fathers to un-learn decades of programming- to transform themselves from fathers who are emotionally disengaged to fathers who are emotionally engaged. Deciding on behalf of their children to decision making collectively.

 

Surprisingly, the religious teachings have never compromised the relevance of the father. The sacredness of the father figure is solidified in Hinduism by the words, Pitṛ Devo Bhava, the father is like God. The importance of the father as a moral guide and spiritual mentor is stressed in such scriptures as the Manusmriti and Mahabharata. The Shraddha rituals, in which sons worship their departed fathers, show a very ancient respect.In Islam both the parents are equally respected. The Quran refers the mother as more respectful, yet the teachings of the Quran encourage children to thank both parents, and the emphasis is made on obedience, good treatment, and gratitude, the theme of unending love and respect reverberates the theme of the day. Christianity also expects a father to be in charge of spiritual and moral upbringing. In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are taught by the bible to bring up their children in love and discipline. The day is usually celebrated in Indian Christian families, particularly in the states of Kerala, Tamil Nadu and Goa through prayers, family get-together and sermons in which fathers are honoured.

 

Although Indian culture and spirituality have strong roots that date back to thousands of years, the society has until recently not been open to recognize and appreciate the emotional input of fathers. Father is no longer the remote protector or the strict dictator of rules. He has become a nurturer, a listener, a guide, a sharer of joys and a burden bearer, just like the mother.

 

However, although this shift is a positive indicator, it does not come without its problems. The fathers of the contemporary India are under huge pressure. The increase in the prices of education, medical care and shelter makes them run in a continuous rat race of provision. They are still supposed to be stoic: strong, silent, and uncomplaining. Being vulnerable is usually regarded as being weak. Father mental health is a discussion that has been left behind. Another high mountain is work-life balance. Most of the jobs particularly in the private sector are not flexible to allow the involvement of a father. Long working hours, frequent travels and no paternity policies ensure that fathers are not as available as they would wish to be. But they do not give up, as they tend to give up their own happiness and stability in order to achieve that of their families.

 

And so Father -Day is not simply about a card or a cake. It is a period when families get to spend time with their dads not as breadwinners or trouble shooters, but as men with feelings, aspirations and weaknesses. It is a day to recognize their patience, their silent sufferance, their love which is unspoken most of the times.

 

However, most importantly, it is a reminder of what fathers in the modern world still need to keep learning that strength is not in silence but in empathy. That being vulnerable in front of their children does not make one weak but opens the path to a stronger bond. That parenting is not a maternal or paternal responsibility alone- but a combined, holy alliance.

 

Whereas Mother s Day gets the due position in our cultural calendar, Father s Day is yet to find a voice in Indian households. Maybe because most of us were raised believing that the love of a father was not emotional but functional. That fathers just did what they did, praise did not befit them. This perception however has to change. The two parents should be valued not comparatively, but complementary.

 

As the Indian society is changing, the concept of fatherhood has to change as well. The new Indian dad has come out of the darkness. He is in the playground, at the dinner table, in bedtime stories and in counseling sessions. He is gradually turning into what he was supposed to be not a provider only but a partner, a protector, a nurturer and a friend.

As today is Father’s Day we must not be content with custom and symbol. So it is time to accept the spirit of the day, a day of celebration of the silent power, the changing role and the immense love that fathers create in our lives. Many of them are doing a lot of things that we should be thankful to them, not only because of what they are doing, but also because of what they are becoming.