Pampering is just making a person as comfortable as possible and giving them whatever they want. The word pamper originally meant to “cram with food” It is really difficult to deal with the pampered child, they become moody and demanding. It is being witnessed that those kids who are pampered used to take everything as for granted . They fall into the clutches of dependency which later make the hated at the age of adulthood. Parents make the mistake when they pamper in the name of love. They feel everything they did is right and have no consequences. They become addict of doing unpleasant actions which make them hated. They feel that come what may but their demand must remain the same.
Pampering creats weakness beacuse children develop the belief that others should do everything for them.Avoid pampering is not an opportunity to shame or blame your child. This is an opportunity to kindly but firmly allow them to develop the skills they will need to survive in this world. Pampering a child too much could be a result of parents frustration. People who had difficult childhood tend to overprotect their children. In most of the families I have seen that parents offer their cell phones, laptops, tabs etc to their children at an early age in order to pamper them which finally led them hated and naughty. Some parents wants to give their children everything they didn’t have themselves as children.
Some specialists believe that pampered child becomes weak adult . An adult that is incapable of making decisions and who fails in the face of pressure was mostly like pampered as a child during childhood. Pampered child usually don’t know the value of things because their upbringing takes in different way. They are convinced that world revolves round them. They get used in receiving inspite of giving anything.
The another problem of the pampered child is their inability to act. Whenever they face the problem at school or feel pressure, they don’t know how to react. They act with aggression when frustrated that is where the situation of physical aggression by children on parents occurs. Pampered children in many cases may suffer from anxiety, mood swings and low self-esteem. They cannot accept the failures because of excessive affection.
Children who are pampered create the world of their own leading to total erosion of their thinking ability. Pampered children takes everything for granted. They perceive people without money, shabby clothes etc as inferior and strays. As a parent, it is very important to raise respectable and contentious individuals. When we pamper our children, we remove the inherent lessons and teachings that allow for formation becoming strong and independent individuals. It has been mostly observed from various modes like print and electronic media that children indulging in various unpleasant activities like addiction, excessive use of gadgets, roaming like wafs and strays which are actually the results of pampering by the parents. As a parent we must act in proportionate manner towards our children that one learns through difficulties and experiences. We need to let our children develop and grow progressively, independently, and responsibly into well matured adults.
Most of the parents, pamper their children unintentionally. If a child cries for a small candy or toy they buy it for him in any way to stop his crying. This reinforces the childs behavior. Pampering creates belief in children, that people around them should bring their needs and wants. Even I have seen many parents thronging at candy shops to bring hefty of candies for their children in order to stop their cries which later creates a belief that everything is possible for them. Such children at the age of adulthood becomes them hated.Another widespread of many parents is that when a child asks for some help while doing homework, the parents end up doing the entire homework for the children. This is an example of excessive care. Children that are over pampered by their parents develop a disrespectful attitude towards others. Parents need to understand their wards requirement and accordingly provide them things which are necessary. Make them learn to do things by themselves.
Pampering can have serious repercussions over the personality and character of child, which later on, put them at crossroads. Instead of that we must correct their mentalities on raising a child.As a result of pampering there also exists a psychological syndrome seen in the children called pampered child syndrome. Those children suffering from this always feel demotivated. They understand that there is no need to make any effort to get what they want.
To put in succinct, pampered child becomes the hated child due to their actions just after attaining adulthood.So love them as per the demand.
Qysar ul Islam Shah teacher by profession, hails from Sonannar Darpora Lolab.