Editorial | Late Marriages, Silent Crisis

Marriage in Kashmir is no longer happening at the age it once did. Young men and women are waiting longer than before. In villages, towns and cities across J&K, parents speak about the same concern. Suitable matches are difficult to find. Expenses are too high. Jobs are uncertain. Expectations have changed. The result is visible everywhere. Weddings are becoming fewer, while the age of marriage keeps rising.

A generation ago, marriages happened early and with simplicity. Families looked for character, respect and family background. Ceremonies were limited. People lived within their means. Today, marriage has become linked with status and social display. Families fear public judgment. Many believe a wedding must look grand, expensive and perfect. This pressure has made marriage difficult for middle class and poor families.

The biggest factor behind delayed marriages is unemployment. Thousands of educated youth in Kashmir remain jobless. Young men often avoid marriage because they fear they cannot support a family. Parents of girls also hesitate to accept proposals from unemployed boys. A government job has become the most desired condition in many households. In some cases, even private sector employees are rejected because their income is considered unstable.

Education has also changed social expectations. Education itself is not the problem. It is necessary and important. But higher qualifications have created unrealistic standards in some families. A highly educated girl is expected to find an equally placed groom with financial stability, land, property and government employment. Families spend years searching for such matches. Many proposals fail because expectations continue to rise on both sides.

Social media has added another layer of pressure. Young people compare their lives with carefully edited images online. Lavish weddings, costly gifts and luxury lifestyles create false standards. Families try to copy what they see around them. Some even take loans to arrange weddings. Instead of reducing burdens, society is increasing them.

Dowry also continues to silently damage the institution of marriage. Though many people publicly oppose it, the practice still survives in different forms. Demands are often hidden behind polite language. Furniture, gold, vehicles and expensive arrangements are treated as normal expectations. Poor families suffer the most. Many daughters remain unmarried because parents cannot afford these demands.

Another painful reality is the emotional burden carried by unmarried youth. Society constantly questions them about marriage. Women face greater pressure. After a certain age, many are judged unfairly. Rumours begin. Relatives interfere. This creates stress, anxiety and isolation. Men also suffer silently. Many feel inadequate because they are unemployed or financially weak.

Late marriages are also affecting the wider social structure. Fertility rates are declining. Family systems are weakening. Emotional loneliness is increasing. Mental health concerns among youth are becoming more visible. In a society already dealing with uncertainty and economic hardship, delayed marriages are adding another layer of emotional strain.

Religious and community leaders must speak more openly about this issue. Islam encourages simplicity in marriage. It discourages unnecessary burden and extravagance. Yet many people ignore these teachings and continue to follow social competition. Mosques, local committees and social organisations should promote simple marriages and discourage wasteful spending.

Parents also need to rethink priorities. Character, honesty and compatibility matter more than salary packages and social status. A stable and respectful relationship cannot be built only on money. Families should avoid turning marriage into a financial transaction. Young people deserve support, not impossible expectations.

The government too has a role to play. Employment generation remains the strongest answer to this crisis. Skill development, local industries and youth support programmes can help create economic confidence among young people. Marriage assistance schemes for poor families should also become transparent and accessible.

Society must understand that delayed marriage is not always a personal choice. In many cases, it is the result of economic pressure, social fear and unrealistic expectations created by society itself.

Kashmir has always valued family bonds and community life. These traditions should not disappear under the weight of modern pressure and material competition. Marriage should remain a simple and dignified union between two people and two families. It should not become a test of wealth or social image.

The silence around this issue must end. Families, educators, religious scholars and policymakers need honest discussion. If society continues to ignore the growing problem of late marriages, the consequences will become deeper in the coming years.

A healthy society cannot be built on rising frustration, emotional isolation and financial fear. Kashmir must return to simplicity, balance and realism before this silent crisis grows beyond control.