Opinion | Marriage Turning into a Burden: Wedding Culture in Kashmir

Marriage is the beginning of a new relationship built on trust, companionship, understanding, and emotional connection between two people and their families. Yet, in today’s wedding culture, this meaningful bond is increasingly overshadowed by showing off, imitation, and unnecessary rituals. What was once considered a sacred and simple union is gradually turning into a social theatre where appearances and public approval matter more than genuine human values. Instead of focusing on freedom, awareness, justice, and mutual respect, society often measures marriages through status, pressure, and social hierarchy.

In Kashmir, weddings are no longer just about two people beginning a life together. They have gradually become large social events, and families feel pressured to prove their status, reputation, and financial strength. We all know how lavish decorations, expensive bridal outfits, huge guest lists, multiple functions, and luxury food arrangements all of this has become so normal that a simple marriage now looks strange to society. When we say a simple arrangement of a wedding, people assume it means the absence of happiness. What makes this more painful is that Kashmir is a Muslim-majority society and people deeply value religion, modesty, and family ethics. Islam made marriage simple, yet society has made it emotionally and financially exhausting. People take loans, and some sell land, other savings collected over the years. Some silently tolerate stress just to avoid social judgment. The question is, why has marriage become so expensive when religion never demanded it?

I think one of the biggest reasons behind the growing culture of expensive weddings is tradition as well. Modern wedding culture is also deeply shaped by consumerism. Through trends, advertising, and social media. People constantly observe one another. Now weddings become less about the couple and more about public image. Families are worrying about what people will say instead of what is genuinely necessary. When will people start to live according to their own choice, free from other’s praising opinion?

Being a part of this same structure, we know that many parents do not spend flamboyantly because they truly want to. They just do it because they fear embarrassment. A simple wedding is often misunderstood as a financial weakness or lack of respectability. Most people are hungry for society’s praises for a luxury more than simplicity. Even if the praise lasts only a few days, families feel it is worth the financial burden. When one family organizes an expensive wedding, others feel indirectly forced to match that standard. Competition entered into an institution that is believed to be sacred and peaceful. As a result, people under this all get pressured to choose competition for this imprecation than to fight against it to collapse.

And social media has also made this pressure even stronger. Today weddings are no longer private family moments; it is like if the public is not shown the event, marriage is incomplete. Instagram reels, cinematic videos, designer themes, pre-wedding shoots, and perfectly staged photographs all these actions create unrealistic expectations. As a result, young people grow up watching luxury weddings online and shape their notion by believing that this is what a successful marriage should look like.

But we knowingly ignore the actual purpose of marriage, which is a very unfortunate thing that society does. A healthy relationship needs emotional maturity, compatibility, patience, trust, and mutual respect. But what is more in practice, families spend lakhs on one night while the couple themselves struggle later with financial instability or emotional incompatibility.

The burden also affects parents deeply, especially families with daughters. In many households, the thought of marriage itself creates anxiety because weddings are seen as financially overwhelming. Some parents spend years saving money only for one event. Marriage is a blessing, but society has made it a heavy responsibility. This is damaging the emotional peace of families. What is the benefit of marriage if after spending lavishly on one event and have to pay the debt for years which will in turn badly impact the quality of life?

Since Islam has given guidelines but there is always a gap between what we know and what we practice. Islam presented marriage very differently. The teachings of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. emphasized simplicity, dignity, and ease in nikah. And the value of marriage in Islam was never linked to decoration, expensive halls, or showing off class. It focused on good marriage that should be measured through character, kindness, responsibility, and sincerity.

Unfortunately, many cultural practices today carry more influence than religious teachings. People often defend by calling it tradition even when that tradition creates stress, delays marriages, and increases social inequality. We can see families with limited income suffer silently. Meanwhile, society rarely questions the system itself. Every individual has the responsibility towards whole society, so be mindful of what you do creating ease for others, not a burden.

All said inside this article do not mean weddings should become joyless or emotionless. Celebration is natural. Families have the right to feel happy. But happiness and flamboyance are not the same thing. A peaceful, respectful, and simple nikah can hold far more meaning than an event designed mainly to impress others.

Change will not happen through lectures alone. Society changes when ordinary people begin normalizing simplicity without shame. For this it’s high time that families openly choose smaller weddings, limited guest lists, simple meals, and fewer unnecessary rituals, and this would be the real manner that will help slowly to challenge unhealthy expectations. Religious leaders, educators, parents, and young people all have a role in changing the culture around marriage.

Most importantly, society must stop measuring dignity through spending. A family should not have to prove its worth through showing off. The success of a marriage cannot be judged by the price of the wedding stage or the number of dishes served to guests.

At its heart, marriage is meant to create peace, companionship, and mercy between two people. When weddings become competitions, that purpose gets lost. Perhaps the real question is not whether people can afford extravagant weddings, but whether society has forgotten the simplicity and humanity that marriage was originally meant to protect.

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