Opinion | Youth, Water and Signs, The Culture of Safety Must Be Constructed While Still There Is Time

When youth dances by the water unaware of the depths it is not freedom but a fragile illusion. A culture of safety must be built not after loss but before regret becomes routine

The drowning of youths in the calm yet treacherous waters of River Jehlum is slowly fading into a rather sinister headline. Its flow that looks placid hides a tragedy not born just of nature’s wrath, but rather, society’s failure to acknowledge the warning signs before it is too late. These incidents are not sporadic they mirror an enduring problem a negligence of parents, apathy of society and misinterpretation of youth’s independence.

Freedom has taken a new meaning in the present world. The youth demand their freedom, while the parents grant it. Yet in granting freedom, there arises an absence of the most important factor responsibility. Somewhere in this space between freedom and responsibility lies the seed of tragedy.

The Science of Habits and Behavior.

Psychological studies substantiate that, by the age of 18, almost all personality traits and behavioral patterns whether positive or negative are set and crystalized in habits that provide a permanent imprint positive or negative on adult behavior. How a child learns to handle pressure, make decisions or evaluate risk is so much defined during the formative years.

Such children are more likely to carry into adulthood skewed notions such as being assertive means having one’s way all the time or that any disagreement of a parent amounts to oppression. And that’s where trouble begins not just for the child, but also for the family and indeed for all the communities.

The Fragile Line of Independence.

Today’s youth face a plethora of choices, temptations and information. Social media glamourizes unregulated lifestyles. Peer circles endorse risky behaviors as adventures. At some point between admiration and the fear of rebellion, many parents relinquish control, equating unrestricted freedom with love.

The end result? A generation that insists on pretty straightforwardly upon its wants, often articulating demands considered unethical or unsafe as personal rights. Be it dressing down without supervision, visiting dangerous places like riverbanks with disregard for safety or taking rash rides on motorcycles the refrain is clear: “I want, therefore I deserve.”

But parenting is not about giving in and letting go. Rather it should involve parent child interactions with healthy discipline and if need be saying ‘no’ not out of anger but out of love.

The Role of Parents, From Observers to Participants.

Usually, in our society, parents see themselves as providers, as in, they earn, feed, and educate their children. While important, these are not sufficient. Equally, if not more important is the emotional and moral presence in the lives of their children.

Somewhere in there, parents must really start doing the following.

1. Participate in Decisions: Do not simply say, “Do as you wish.” Get involved. Talk about the risks. Offer safer alternatives. Help them ponder.

2. Permission Must Be An Expectation: Children must grow up understanding that permission is not suppression it is direction. It develops respect and discipline for values.

3. Do Not Give In to Emotional Blackmail: A lot of children today manipulate their parents’ emotions to get what they want.

4. Make ‘Safety’ an Everyday Value: Safety should become a family discussion every day, whether about road safety or water bodies, internet threats or peer pressure. Safety should never be a lecture to be delivered on some tragedy.

5. Model Responsible Behavior: Children learn more by what they see than what they hear. If the parents themselves follow safety, manage risk, and give priority to health and safety, the children will most likely mirror that.

Rivers Are Not Just Water, They Are Warnings.

The River Jehlum is not to blame. Water, like fire is capable of great destruction, and thus is to be respected, not romanticized. But how often do we see children swimming without lifeguards, boating without safety gear, or congregating at dangerous sites near water?

Why does this happen? Why do parents allow it? The answer lies in the lack of sensitization seeing it happen too many times that we simply stop caring. It becomes the visual norm in the face of tragedy until another name is lost, and another family is thrown into mourning.

It is high time that this chain be broken. Local bodies, schools and community leaders must take the initiative to create awareness campaigns about water safety. It is high time that the banks of the river have prominent signs and restricted zones. Let youth learn that adventure is not recklessness and that life is too precious to gamble with.

Rebuilding Culture, From Casual to Careful.

The cultural attitude toward the youth of today is defined by this very sense of casualness. Our culture has taken a rather casual attitude toward rules, parenting and even death. It is this very casualness that must be done away with.

Let us cultivate a culture of caution, but this does not mean fear a culture in which.

Independence comes with responsibility.

Fun comes with foresight.

Freedom is earned through trust.

Love is both support and correction.

This culture must first germinate in homes, be nurtured in schools and echoed by the very community. We must teach our youth that saying no is not rejection it is protection. Being given guidance does not mean being controlled it means truly cared for.

Before It is Too Late.

It is for every child lost to the waters, every parent who cried too late and every future still with a fair chance that we must change the way we think, the way we act, and the way we raise. River Jehlum has turned into a living metaphor for beauty, history and the consequences of listing freedoms.

Let us ensure that no more lives are consciously washed away in the currents of water or through neglect. Let us teach our children how to differentiate between liberty and liability. Let us restore the value of seeking permission before making decisions, choosing safety over thrill.

Because by the time we say, “We should have spoken,”

The silence will have set in too deep to reach.

(Writer is a Teacher, An Author and Columnist hails from Boniyar Baramulla and He Can Be Contacted on mukhtar.qur@gmail.com)