Opinion | The Price Women Pay: A Mental Health Crisis Hidden Behind Matrimonial Disputes

“The deepest wounds are not the ones that bleed. They are the ones that silently destroy the mind.”

Marriage is often celebrated as the beginning of a beautiful journey—a union built on love, trust, and companionship. Yet, for countless women, it becomes the beginning of a silent psychological battle. While courts deal with legal rights and families debate social honour, one crucial aspect remains neglected: the mental health of women trapped in matrimonial disputes.

As an advocate and a social worker, I encounter such cases almost every day. Behind every legal file lies a woman whose smile has faded, whose confidence has been shattered, and whose mind has become a battlefield. Society sees court cases, divorce petitions, and legal arguments. I see sleepless nights, panic attacks, silent tears, and women who have forgotten who they once were.

One of the greatest tragedies is not merely the dispute itself but the attitude of society. Whenever a woman faces marital problems, she is immediately placed under suspicion. Questions are raised about her character, her upbringing, and her choices. Rarely does anyone ask what she has endured. We have normalised judging women while trivialising their emotions. The storms raging inside their minds are dismissed as overreactions, attention-seeking, or emotional weakness.

Perhaps the most dangerous misconception is that violence only exists when bruises are visible. In reality, emotional abuse often inflicts deeper and more permanent wounds than physical violence. Constant humiliation, endless taunts, criticism over every action, and deliberate attempts to make a woman feel worthless slowly destroy her identity. A person who is repeatedly told that she is incapable eventually begins to believe it.

I remember a client whose husband never physically assaulted her. To outsiders, theirs appeared to be a peaceful marriage. But inside the home, every word she spoke was criticised. Every decision she made was mocked. Every effort she made was declared insufficient. Day after day, she was made to feel insignificant. Today, she suffers from severe anxiety, frequent panic attacks, memory lapses, and emotional breakdowns. She cannot complete a simple conversation without crying. She has forgotten the confident woman she once was. This is violence too—silent, invisible, yet devastating.

Another heartbreakingly case involved a nineteen-year-old girl who was married to a forty-year-old man because her family believed he earned a respectable salary. Financial security became more important than their daughter’s consent, dreams, or compatibility. After the marriage, the truth emerged. His income was a fraction of what had been promised, and the marriage was marked by domestic violence and constant abuse. Her parents’ materialistic expectations had unknowingly sacrificed her future. Tragically, this is not an isolated incident. Across our society, daughters continue to be treated as bargaining tools in the pursuit of financial gain and social prestige.

The consequences of such experiences extend far beyond the courtroom. Women in matrimonial disputes frequently suffer from anxiety disorders, depression, insomnia, chronic stress, panic attacks, loss of self-esteem, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts. Many begin blaming themselves for circumstances they never created. Others become so psychologically exhausted that they lose their ability to trust, to dream, or even to make simple decisions. Their minds become prisons built by years of emotional manipulation.

The reasons behind this mental suffering are numerous. Domestic violence, emotional abuse, constant taunting, family interference, financial dependence, prolonged litigation, social stigma, and public judgment combine to create unbearable emotional pressure. Yet society often chooses to discuss the legal dispute while ignoring the human being at its centre.

Even after divorce, the suffering rarely ends. A divorced woman is often viewed as a symbol of bad luck rather than resilience. Some families hesitate to invite her to weddings or celebrations, fearing that her presence might somehow bring misfortune. Such beliefs are not only irrational but deeply inhumane. Instead of extending compassion, society isolates her further. We continue to weaken women until they begin to believe they are truly weak.

It is time to ask ourselves an uncomfortable question: Why do we make survival harder for women who are already fighting the most difficult battle of their lives?

Mental health support must become an integral part of every matrimonial dispute. Family courts should have qualified counsellors and psychologists available to support litigants throughout the legal process. Awareness campaigns must educate families that emotional abuse is as destructive as physical violence. Parents must stop treating their daughters as instruments for financial security or social status and instead respect their right to choose a life of dignity and happiness. Above all, society must replace judgment with empathy.

Justice is not merely about delivering court orders; it is about restoring dignity. A favourable judgment may resolve a legal dispute, but it cannot automatically heal a traumatised mind. Healing requires compassion, understanding, acceptance, and timely psychological support.

A woman’s strength should not be measured by how much pain she silently endures. It should be measured by how fearlessly she is allowed to live with dignity, equality, and respect.

The next time you hear that a woman is involved in a matrimonial dispute, do not ask, “What did she do?” Instead, ask, “What happened to her?” That single question has the power to replace prejudice with compassion, silence with understanding, and broken lives with hope.

Because when society chooses empathy over judgment, it does not merely save a marriage—it saves a mind, a future, and sometimes, a life.

Lailatunisa7@gmail.com